In November 1985 the Harvard Crimson profiled a student named Michael Del Ray and his Yuppie Drinking Helmet, a baseball batter's helmet with two cup holders and a hose that ran to the wearer's mouth. He told the paper he first made it as a joke. Most people still picture that helmet when they hear beer hat, and I understand why. It is funny for about one photo.

This edit is the version I would actually put on. The beer hat I reach for now is a trucker with a drink on the front, the kind you wear to a bar patio or a brewery taproom on a Saturday, and it still gets a laugh without a hose.

The Motel Margarita Margs. trucker in black has a white lowercase wordmark on a foam front, and the Uno Mas cap in navy says UNO MAS POR FAVOR in block letters, which is the whole order. The Champagne Cowboy trucker from The Laundry Room is black with yellow lettering and a rider on horseback. The Friday Feelin Support Day Drinking hat is black with a white patch, and the Old Mil' Beer Co hat from Philcos is washed denim with a frayed brim, the only one here with an actual beer on it.

Then the cherries. The Market Double Cherries trucker is cream with embroidered cherries, and the Friday Feelin Mon Cherie hat is red mesh with cherries tied in a bow. The Midnight Rodeo Whiskey Hat is black with western lettering over a red record, for a honky-tonk night.

The test I use is a mirror at arm's length. If you can read the front from there, so can everyone at the bar, so pick a line you are happy to repeat when someone asks about it.

Boys Lie started with a phrase. Tori Robinson and Leah O'Malley came up with their idea in a New York City fire station on St. Patrick's Day, which is about as beer-soaked a holiday as there is, and the red cherub patch on these truckers comes from the same two friends. I like that a hat line about heartbreak began on the one day everyone wears something silly on their head.

The He's A Cheetah trucker has a leopard-print front, black mesh and the red oval cherub patch. Mellow Yellow puts the same patch on pale yellow, softer with a white tee. Royal B is faded royal blue with a distressed brim and a blue cherub, the one I would wear with denim.

The Darlin Heritage trucker is camo with white puff lettering that says DARLIN', and the Brixton Forget The Cowboy snapback is off-white with a chocolate brim and brown script. The Friday Feelin trio covers the calendar: Delulu Club in dark green with a cream patch, Game Day in black varsity letters for the tailgate, and Pumpkin Spice Is Life with a checked brim for pumpkin beer season.

Fitting test: set the snapback or strap one notch looser than feels right, then tuck your hair behind your ears. A trucker should sit above the brows, not on them.

What I would skip: a foam-front trucker for a whole afternoon in full sun. The mesh back helps, but the front holds the heat.

Crochet has its own beer story. The Beer Can Museum in East Taunton, Massachusetts, keeps crocheted beer can hats from the 1970s on display, a craft that turned the empties into something to wear. These are the softer descendants, no aluminum required, and they are what I would wear to a beer garden in the afternoon.

The Ganni Crochet Stripe Bucket Hat is rainbow stripes with a wavy blue brim. Ganni was founded as a knitwear brand in 2000 by the Copenhagen gallerist Frans Truelsen, so knits are in its history. The De Rococo crochet bucket is striped brown, green and cream, the most seventies one in the group. The Lovers and Friends Beri bucket is a tan and cream checkerboard, and the Hat Attack Betty bucket is natural with a soft, wide brim that actually shades your face. The Lele Sadoughi Maya bucket is ivory open crochet trimmed with turquoise and pearls.

The caps are for days when a brim feels like too much. The 8 Other Reasons cotton crochet hat is open-weave with pearl beads at the edge, the Lack of Color crochet hat in coco brown sits close like a skull cap, and the Lovers and Friends Mira hat is a cream crochet hood with long beaded strands.

Packing test: fold each one in half and press. Soft crochet springs back, and anything stiffer should ride on your head, not in a tote.

What I would skip: an open-weave cap as sun protection. It is a pretty layer over your hair, not shade.

Where you are drinking decides most of it. A bar patio or a ballgame wants a trucker you can read from across the table, a beer garden or a lake day wants crochet, and October wants the Pumpkin Spice hat, no contest.

Then pick by the line on the front. Margs, cherries or a cherub, it should be something you would happily say out loud.

Del Ray made his helmet as a joke, and I still think a beer hat should make someone smile. It just does not need cup holders anymore. If you want to keep browsing, I also put together Burberry Hat for Women and How to Wear the Green Hat.