Gifts for Older Women: Iris Apfel's Case for Personal Style

In 2005, when Iris Apfel was 84, her clothes and accessories were exhibited at the Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. WBUR notes she was the first living person who was not a designer to have her wardrobe shown there. The show mixed pieces from her own closet, including lizard trousers and stacks of plastic bangles. Her line, “more is more and less is a bore,” is a better starting point than any rule about what a woman should wear after 60. For gifts for older women, I would shop for the person, not a number.

That is why this edit feels like a wardrobe with a side table attached. Soft cashmere and layers come first, then shoes intended for easy steps, jewelry she can make her own, considered skin care and comforts for home. Apfel described fashion as a way to express yourself and not all look alike. I like a gift that respects that instinct. The AAD notes skin can become thinner and lose water more easily during the 60s and 70s, so moisturizing gifts can be useful without a promise to reverse a thing.

Among the layers, the Barefoot Dreams CozyChic Blanket Stitch Wrap is a plum cardigan with arm openings and rib accents, an easy option over a white shirt. The Sofia Cashmere Fringed Cashmere Wrap is a long black rectangle with fringe, so it can double as a travel layer or extra scarf. For home, the ocean CozyChic Throw is polyester microfiber, not cashmere, a plush blanket folded in a matching ribbon. Johnstons of Elgin's black Cashmere Fringe Scarf is made in a Scottish mill and is dry-clean only; the Haven Well Within Shaker Stitch Scarf brings ribbed texture in brown. Before I choose, I would look at the colors she already wears, then check the care label so the soft gift suits her routine.

Walking comfort starts with fit, not the label. The Birkenstock family traces its shoemaking roots to a documented 1774 mention of Johannes Birkenstock, and its original footbed sandal was presented at the Düsseldorf shoe fair in 1963. I like a gift that gives the foot a proper seat in the shoe, but support claims only matter if the shape works for her.

The SOREL Nakiska III in quarry gray has a suede upper, closed toe and faux-fur collar; the UGG Coquette in chestnut adds a plush edge and Sugarcane EVA sole. Vionic's Relax II slide has an adjustable strap and contoured footbed, while the Cinder Rose Snuggle slipper has a rounded toe and deep heel cup. For walks beyond the doorstep, the cream HOKA Bondi 9 is described with premium foam and increased stack height. The HOKA Gaviota 6 adds an H-Frame stability design, and Kizik's Siena uses hands-free heel technology. Rykä's Devotion Max is a knit slip-on with a removable cushioned insole.

I would match the shoe to her routine: one for the sofa, one for the doorstep, or a trainer for the walk she already takes. Check the opening, arch position, and whether her heel stays secure in her usual size; an adjustable strap helps only if she likes the feel. What I would skip: a slip-on chosen by the label alone when she has a known support need. Ask what she already reaches for and match that construction.

Jewelry becomes easier to give when I think about fastening as much as shine. The small differences matter: a post earring is not a huggie, and an adjustable chain behaves differently from a fixed necklace. The Concrete Collective Pearl and White Diamond Necklace has a 16-inch 14k yellow-gold chain with a pink cultured pearl; it reads as one clear detail against a dark knit. Kendra Scott's Ellen wide gold-vermeil huggies have a broader profile, while the Michelle studs set white freshwater pearls in 14k yellow gold. Kate Spade's Tiny Twinkles Mini Pearl Mini Hoops add faux pearls to petite gold hoops, for someone who prefers a smaller outline.

Coach's Pearl Charm Necklace mixes glass pearls and crystal accents on an adjustable 16-to-18-inch chain; its Repeated C Hinged Bangle closes with a pushlock. MEJURI's pearl and diamond studs keep the detail tiny, while David Yurman's sterling silver cable cuff has a 14k yellow-gold station and comes in small, medium and large. I would compare what she wears most, check earring backs, chain length and wrist size, then decide whether she prefers one precise piece or a little shine in rotation. The gold tones need not match perfectly, but I would choose a finish she already repeats.

The AAD notes that skin in the 60s and 70s may be thinner and lose water more easily, so dryness can become more noticeable. It recommends a creamy, fragrance-free moisturizer after bathing, and says an ointment holds water better than a cream when skin feels very dry. That is practical gift logic, not a dare to fix someone. The L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Balm lists 25 percent shea butter, and its Nourishing Body & Hand Duo gathers hand and body care in one gift box.

An Aesop Reverence Duo pairs hand wash with matching balm. For face, Kiehl's Ultra Facial refill set includes a 50 mL cream and 150 mL refill; Farmacy's Honey Halo is a ceramide moisturizer described as providing 24-hour hydration. Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask combines ceramides, niacinamide and hyaluronic acid; Tatcha's Always Dewy set has a full jar and a travel size. Glossier's Daily Perfecting Lotion offers a pump format, and is described as dermatologist-tested and suitable for sensitive skin.

Before choosing, check fragrance, active ingredients and whether she prefers a jar, tube or pump. I would let her established routine set the brief, rather than changing products she already likes. What I would skip: a fragranced set if she has told you fragrance bothers her, or a formula whose instructions do not fit her daily routine.

A quiet corner can make a gift feel like it belongs to the day she already has. The West Elm Gray Lava Stone Bookends are handmade from lava rock sourced in Indonesia, while its cordless LED Table Lamp is portable and dimmable, so I would put the lamp beside a reading chair and the bookends on the shelf she actually uses.

Ironwood Gourmet's acacia Townhouse Tea Box has five divided compartments for tea bags. Degrenne's black Salam Teapot has a felt-lined stainless-steel cover designed to keep tea hot for up to two hours. The Ohom Leiph Verde Heated Tea Pot comes with an induction pad that heats contents to 130 degrees and shuts off automatically; it suits someone whose tea goes cold while she reads. Palais des Thés puts nine blends, six bags each, in its Festive Teas Assortment. I would pair that with the tea box only if she likes keeping teas organized.

For the sofa, the Pottery Barn Cozy Eyelash Chenille Throw is oatmeal polyester and nylon; the SFERRA Viletta is charcoal cotton blended with cashmere and wool. Check the table space, cup size, and whether a lamp is easy to move before choosing. What I would skip: an elaborate tea setup if her kitchen already runs on one favorite mug.

My choice would begin with something she already reaches for. If she wears knit layers on repeat, I would choose a cashmere scarf; if she talks about her feet, I would make the shoes the main event and check her preferred shape. Jewelry is the smallest way to reflect the palette she wears, while skin care only works as a gift when I know what she likes and what she avoids.

Then I would add one quiet extra: tea beside the chair, a soft throw, or a hand cream where it will be used. I would not try to make the gift explain her age. Iris Apfel's Met wardrobe was a record of her own choices, from lizard trousers to stacked plastic bangles. That remains the measure I like: something chosen for her, not for the number attached to her.

 

For more gift ideas: Gifts for Older Men, Holiday Gift Sets, White Elephant Gift Ideas, Christmas Gift Ideas.