On 7 May 1997, The Fifth Element opened the Cannes Film Festival, and Jean Paul Gaultier was all over it. He had designed some 900 costumes worn by extras in the Fhloston Paradise sequences, and he staged a fashion show at the Gaumont for the opening event. A couturier dressing a crowd for a science fiction film, in front of the whole festival. That is the Gaultier move in one afternoon: take something you are not supposed to take seriously and dress it like it matters.

The sailor bottle works the same way. Le Male arrived in 1995, composed by Francis Kurkdjian, with a torso in a marinière that looked like nothing else on the counter. It is an oriental fougere built on mint, lavender, vanilla and amber, and the license moved from Shiseido's Beauté Prestige International to Puig on 1 January 2016. The line has kept its nerve since. Le Male Le Parfum, from 2020, is the version with the coat on: the brand describes a black and gold captain's jacket and an elegant woody amber trail, with cardamom on top, lavender and iris in the middle and vanilla underneath.

The trick with this bottle is to treat it as the grown-up end of a family, not the sweet one. Start with the original Le Male Eau de Toilette to understand the blueprint, then step up. The Le Male Elixir Parfum leans honeyed and gold, with lavender, tonka bean and benzoin, and the Le Male Elixir Absolu Parfum Intense is the loudest of the four, for cold nights and long dinners. The Le Beau side of the house is lighter and more playful, so Le Beau Eau de Toilette and Le Beau Le Parfum are where I would send a friend who finds the sailor too much. Narcisse and Paradise Garden are the ones to try once the basics are in your drawer.

Lavender changes its accent depending on what sits under it, and a paper card will never tell you which way it leans on you. Give it an afternoon on skin before you decide.

Armani Beauty Stronger With You Parfum, with vanilla, leather and lavender, is the warmest of this group and the closest cousin to a Le Male mood. Burberry London Eau de Toilette with lavender is the tailored one, made for an office where nobody wants to be noticed by scent. Dolce&Gabbana K is the quick, bright weekday option, and The One For Men, with lavender and sandalwood, is the evening version of the same house. Yves Saint Laurent Y Le Parfum brings cedarwood to the lavender, which makes it a bit drier and cooler, and Valentino Uomo Born in Roma Purple Melancholia puts the lavender in a moodier frame.

A pairing I like: Gucci Guilty Pour Homme Eau de Toilette, with lavandin, lemon and patchouli, for daytime, and something sweeter from the Le Male family once the sun goes down. Jo Malone London Silver Birch & Lavender Cologne is the quiet one here, light enough to layer under anything.

What I would skip: a dense lavender parfum on a hot commute. Keep those for evenings and use the eau de toilettes when the day is long.

Cardamom and iris settle quietly, which is why a work fragrance needs a slower test. Spray once on the chest, once on the back of the neck, then walk away for an hour before you decide what you think.

Yves Saint Laurent L'Homme Le Parfum, with cedarwood and cardamom, is the cleanest place to start, a spiced shirt-and-jacket scent. Dior Homme comes three ways here, Eau de Toilette, Parfum and Intense Eau de Parfum, and wearing two of them side by side on your wrists is the best free lesson in concentration you will get. Prada L'Homme Eau de Toilette is the tidy, grown-up one. Gucci Guilty Pour Homme Elixir de Parfum, with orris butter and benzoin, is richer and more formal, and Jo Malone London Mimosa & Cardamom Cologne with sandalwood is a soft landing if the rest of the group feels too serious.

CREED Green Irish Tweed is the outlier, a fresh, green classic that sits beside these the way a waxed jacket sits beside a suit. It works because it makes the spicier bottles feel warmer by contrast.

What I would skip: stacking two of these on the same morning. They are built to be read one at a time.

Dark fragrances bloom from fabric more slowly than from skin, so on a night out I spray my shirt collar and leave my neck alone. It keeps the scent out of other people's way on the train.

Carolina Herrera Bad Boy Elixir, with woody leather, is the easy one to wear, dark without feeling heavy. Tom Ford Noir Extreme, with amber and sandalwood, is for dinners with a long table, and Ombré Leather, with patchouli and vetiver, is for a jacket you have worn for years. Tobacco Vanille, with tonka bean and ginger, is the one people will ask about. Dolce&Gabbana Devotion For Men Parfum, with coffee and amber woods, is the cosy late-night choice, and Gucci Guilty Absolu de Parfum for Men, with orange flower, sits close to the skin.

Maison Margiela REPLICA Jazz Club is the bottle for a bar with low light and a small stage. Kilian Paris Smoking Hot, with tobacco, is the most dramatic of the eight, and it does best when it is the only thing you are wearing.

What I would skip: a smoky parfum at a daytime meeting or a dinner in a small room. Save the dark bottles for a place with some air.

I think the sailor is worth the attention. Gaultier has never made a fragrance that hides, and Le Male Le Parfum is the one in the line where the swagger has been tailored a little. The cardamom keeps it from being simply sweet, and the lavender keeps it familiar.

So buy the Le Male you will wear on an ordinary Thursday, test one cardamom bottle from the third group against it, and keep a dark one for the nights that need it. Gaultier dressed 900 extras for a film. You only have to dress yourself.

The sailor is where I start, but I like having another bottle nearby for the days it is the wrong call. Jean Paul Gaultier's Le Male in Blue, with blue lavender and benzoin, keeps you in the family, and the Le Male Le Parfum with lavender and vanilla is the dressed-up version. For evenings, I would reach for the Gucci Guilty Elixir, the Yves Saint Laurent La Nuit de L'Homme or The One Pour Homme Parfum from Dolce & Gabbana. Rabanne Phantom in Red also carries lavender, so it is the easiest neighbor for the sailor, and the two Creed colognes, Aventus and Viking, round out the group. Spray one on each wrist and wear two of them side by side for a full day before you decide. If you want to keep browsing, I also put together YSL MYSLF Le Parfum and Mugler Perfume.