The Wedding Guest Dress, Finally Decoded

Black tie started life as the relaxed option. In October 1886, at the Autumn Ball in Tuxedo Park, New York, Griswold Lorillard and a few friends turned up in tailless dress coats, and the society paper Town Topics compared them to royal footmen. The short jacket was a shortcut out of white tie, and for the women in the room it never meant anything less than a floor length dress. That is still the most useful way to read the words on a card: when an invitation says black tie, I go long.

 

These are the gowns that answer it without any fuss. The Amur Saylor Pleated Gown and the Amur Ionea Pleated Gown do it with pleats that move when you walk. The Theia Gilda Draped Rose Gown puts its interest at the shoulder, and the Teri Jon by Rickie Freeman Asymmetrical Taffeta Gown has the stiff, rustling kind of skirt that reads formal from across a ballroom. If you want satin, the Ramy Brook Tatiana Satin Halter Gown, the A.L.C. Genevieve Pleated Satin Gown and the Mac Duggal Charmeuse Cowl Gown with Thin Bow Straps are the three I would try first. The Lauren Ralph Lauren Georgette Cape Gown solves the cold church problem without a wrap, and the Black Halo Evangeline Gown and the Adrianna Papell Beaded Neckline Mikado Gown are the structured ones. If you want a wedding guest dress that reads formal, the Bardot Olena Trim Maxi Dress is a black floor length column with a slit, the Paris Georgia Elemental Claudia Dress is a draped rhubarb gown, the A.L.C. Nadia Gown is the formal one, and the Self Portrait Black Velvet Bow Sides Maxi Dress is the pick for an autumn evening.

 

My test is the stair test. Put on the shoes you plan to wear, hold the skirt and walk up a flight of stairs, then sit down on a hard chair. The hem should clear the floor when you stand and the bodice should not dig in when you sit, because you will do both all night.

 

What I would skip: a gown that needs a strapless bra you have never danced in. Try the whole set together before the day.

On 1 February 1966, at the Hotel George V in Paris, Paco Rabanne showed twelve dresses made of discs linked by metal rings, with the models walking barefoot to Pierre Boulez. He called them unwearable. Sixty years later the idea that a dress can be made of light is the easiest way to look dressed at an evening wedding, and nobody calls it unwearable anymore.

 

This grid is the one for an evening reception. The Alex Perry Strapless Sequin Dress is a fuchsia column, and the Bronx Banco Tula Embellished Dress is the gold, floor length one with the high slit. The Theia Avalina Organza Lamé Gown and the Sachin Babi Embellished Olivia Gown are the long, formal options for a black tie card. For something shorter, the Rachel Gilbert Anika Embellished Georgette Midi Dress, the CAMI NYC Ruzita Metallic Chiffon Midi Dress and the Runaway The Label Anette Sequin Midi Dress all stop around the calf. The retrofete Bastet Embellished Dress is the most nightclub of the group, and the Oscar de la Renta Embellished Mini Cocktail Dress is the most polished. The Lovers and Friends Benilda Metallic Maxi Dress is a bronze column that glows rather than sparkles, which makes it the one I would wear to an autumn wedding.

 

My test is the hug test. Sequins catch on knitwear and scratch bare arms, so hug someone in the fitting room or rub the inside of your arm against the side seam. If it snags, it will snag on every relative you greet.

 

What I would skip: a full sequin dress at a morning ceremony. Shine wants evening light, so save it for anything that starts after five.

In 1937 Elsa Schiaparelli named a colour after her new perfume, Shocking, and described it in her memoir as bright, impossible, impudent and life giving. A strong single colour still does what she wanted it to do, which is make you visible without any print or shine doing the work for you. It also photographs better than almost anything else at a wedding, where most of the pictures are taken in mixed light.

 

These are long or nearly long dresses in one colour. The Zuhair Murad Chiffon Off-Shoulder Draped Long Dress is a pale green with a cape sleeve, and the Amur Elea Pleated Dress is a deep red that sits close through the bodice and then falls. The SIMKHAI Maddy Cutout Maxi Dress is red too, but sharper. The Black Halo Brullo Maxi Dress is chartreuse, the Cult Gaia Patrizia Dress comes in celadon, and the Amanda Uprichard Cantara Gown is a saturated blue. For quieter colour, the STAUD Cadence Satin Halter Dress, the TOTEME Slouch Waist Satin Maxi Dress and the Khaite Roxanne Crepe Maxi Dress keep to browns and olives, and the Harithand Nerina Ruffled Silk Georgette Maxi Dress is the softest of the lot. The Reformation Lantana Silk Dress is a navy that works for almost any wedding, the A.L.C. Miriam Dress is a teal with a fringe hem, the Tibi Matte Satin Plisse Maxi Bias Dress is a serious green satin, and the Paris Georgia Raf Dress is a ruched mocha column.

 

My test is the window test. Evening lighting warms every colour, so look at the dress by a window in daylight and again under a lamp. If you like it in both, it will look right in the photos.

 

What I would skip: guessing the bridesmaids' colour. Ask the couple, then pick anything that is not it.

The Metropolitan Museum credits Christian Dior with being the first to call the early evening frock a cocktail dress, in the late 1940s. The cocktail party itself, the museum notes, generally ran from six to eight in the evening, and the name stuck because it described a real gap: dressier than a day dress and shorter than a gown. On a wedding invitation, cocktail attire still means exactly that, and in practice the safest reading is a midi with some structure.

 

This is the grid for that card. The Victoria Beckham Posy Midi Dress and the Cinq à Sept Rosine Strapless Midi Dress are the two I would wear to almost any cocktail wedding. The Carolina Herrera Hydrangea Floral Lace Midi Dress is the most ladylike, and the Zimmermann Petite Silk Wrap Midi Dress wraps, so it adjusts after dinner. The Magda Butrym Tank Midi Dress is the cleanest shape here, the Camila Coelho Ondina Midi Dress and the LPA Celeste Midi Dress bring colour, and the MILLY Nalani Pleated Midi Dress has the most movement. The STAUD Marcel Silk Blend Dress and the Chiara Boni La Petite Robe Gudrum Ruffled Sheath Dress sit closer to the body. The Valentino Garavani Lace-Trimmed Chiffon Mini Dress is the one short option, and it is for the party rather than the church.

 

My test is the knee test. Sit down in the dress and look at where the hem lands. For a ceremony I want it at or below the knee when seated, because that is the view everyone in the pew behind you gets.

 

What I would skip: a cocktail mini at a religious ceremony. Keep it for the after party, or bring a midi for the service.

Emilio Pucci opened his first boutique in 1950, in front of La Canzone del Mare, the beach club on Capri, and his printed silks were made for women who went from the beach to dinner without going home. That is still the brief for a garden or destination wedding: a print does the work of jewellery, packs into a small bag and does not show the creases from the flight.

 

The FARM Rio Porcelain Birds Maxi Dress and the FARM Rio Rio Anturium Leaves Maxi Dress are the holiday ones, bright and easy. The Theia Cleo Strapless Column Gown is a teal and pink floral that works for a formal evening, and the PatBO Plunge Neck Maxi Dress is the one for a beach. The Missoni Knit Maxi Halter Dress is a knit in multicoloured stripes, and the Dolce & Gabbana Printed Maxi Dress is the loudest dress on the page. For a city or autumn wedding, the Markarian Freesia Ikat Midi Dress and the Givenchy Sliced Leopard Midi Dress are darker. The V. Chapman Gwen Gown, the NICHOLAS Kamila Ruffle Cowl Gown and the MAJORELLE Brandi Gown are the long options, the last one in black and white dots, and the Cinq à Sept Celia Striped Maxi Dress is the simplest.

 

My test is the photo test. Take a picture of yourself from across the room. A good print still reads as flowers or stripes at that distance, and a weak one turns into a blur.

 

What I would skip: a busy print with a busy shoe and bag. Let the dress talk and keep everything else plain.

In 1871 a short story in the London St James' Magazine had its anxious bride list what she had to wear on the day: something new, something borrowed, something blue. Something old and a sixpence for her shoe were added later, but the blue never left, and over time it has quietly become the guest's colour too. It suits almost everyone, it never competes with a white dress, and it looks as right at a black tie dinner as it does on a lawn.

 

This grid runs from pale sky to deep navy. For a formal evening, the AMUR Joyceann Sweetheart Gown in deep indigo, the Natalie Rolt Bridget Gown in bluebell and the Deme by Gabriella Chloe Gown in navy are the long, serious ones, and the L'IDEE Black Tie Gown has a royal blue glitter that does the work of sequins. For brighter colour, the Lovers and Friends Callie Gown and the NBD Mohini Gown are both cobalt, and the LIONESS Bare Maxi Dress is a clean royal blue. The softer end is the Bec + Bridge Angelyne Drape Maxi Dress in periwinkle and the Runaway The Label Madeleine Strapless Maxi Dress in sky. The Tiger Mist Zana Maxi Dress is navy sequins, and the ASTA RESORT Celine Hand Beaded Dress is the one I would pack for a destination wedding.

 

My test is the flash test. Take a photo of yourself in the dress with the flash on. Very pale blue can turn almost white under a flash, and a deeper shade holds its colour in every picture.

 

What I would skip: an icy, barely there blue. Next to a bride in white it can look like a near miss, so go one shade deeper.

When the dinner jacket turned one hundred in 1986, people in Tuxedo Park told UPI that the proper words there were black tie and white tie, never tux. The phrase names the occasion, and that is the best way to read any card. White tie means a full length gown. Black tie means floor length. Black tie optional or formal means a gown or a dressy cocktail dress. Cocktail means knee to midi with some structure, and festive means you are being asked for colour. A beach or garden note is about heat and grass, not about how dressed up to be.

 

The time on the invitation tells you almost as much as the dress code. Anything that starts in the morning wants lighter fabric and less shine, and anything after six can take the gowns and sequins above. When the card says nothing at all, I look at the venue and the hour and dress one step up from what I think, because overdressing at a wedding is a compliment to the couple.

 

What I would skip: anything white, ivory or pale champagne, whatever the card says. It is the one rule every guest still agrees on. If you want to keep browsing, I also put together Wedding Guest Dress Codes, Decoded and Brown Wedding Guest Dress.