Read the invitation before you read anything else. The Emily Post Institute says the time of the wedding and the wording on the card are your best guide, and its black tie guidance for women is short: a formal floor-length evening gown, a dressy cocktail dress, or your dressiest little black dress. Every guide I trust adds one more rule, which is no white, ivory, cream or champagne unless the couple asks for it. That is why there is nothing pale in this edit.

 

This first grid is for the formal end of the scale. The Rachel Gilbert Sylvie in silver sequined tulle and the Maticevski Sonorous strapless crepe gown are the two I would wear to a black tie evening, and the Costarellos Zurina and Là Fuori Mystical Garden gowns carry embroidery and appliqué for anyone who wants detail. The SIEDRÉS Nyra in ochre velvet is the autumn choice. The Marchesa Painterly Print off-shoulder gown and the Leo Lin Rayna appliqué maxi bring flowers without looking like a garden party.

 

For colour, the Prabal Gurung Linda is red, the Azeeza Avya is wine, the LIKELY Nixon is fuchsia and the retrofete Meira is a deep teal chiffon. The Bronx Banco Geisha V-neck gown is green with feather cuffs, and the Herve Leger Louisa is plum and fitted from neck to floor.

 

My test is to sit in it at a table. Formal gowns look right standing and wrong seated if the bodice is too long or the slit is too high, so try it on a chair.

 

What I would skip: a long dress in champagne or ecru for an evening wedding. In candlelight and in photos it reads as white.

Ginger Rogers designed her own dress for the Cheek to Cheek number in Top Hat in 1935, a satin gown covered in ostrich feathers, and insisted on wearing it because it moved beautifully. Fred Astaire hated it at first because it shed feathers all over the set, and you can still see them floating in the finished film. She was right about the movement, though, and that is the point of this grid.

 

Chiffon and pleats are the easiest way to get it. The CAMI NYC Jennelyn Chiffon Pleated gown is orange, the AMUR Alaina Butterfly gown is olive and the AMUR Joelle Pleated Draped gown is pink. The retrofete Lunaria Chiffon dress is ochre with a long drape, and the Lovers and Friends Giulia gown is a bright coral red. The LEO LIN Amya Petal gown is lilac and the Arcina Ori Ramona and Madalena dresses bring brown and sage satin.

 

For print, the Ulla Johnson Aureline is a one-shoulder silk floral and the Atrani is a deeper print in silk, while the Etro paisley chiffon gown is the most dramatic. The Monique Lhuillier short-sleeve maxi, the ROAME Pascal strapless maxi, the Baobab Celele one-shoulder, the Ralph Lauren Jettson parachute gown and the AQUA velvet strapless gown are the plainer shapes.

 

The test is to turn in it. Spin once in front of a mirror. If the skirt follows you, it will look good on the dance floor and in every candid photo.

 

What I would skip: a heavy chiffon maxi for a hot outdoor ceremony. Layers of chiffon trap heat, so pick one layer for summer.

The best-known dress connected to a wedding film was not in the film. At the London premiere of Four Weddings and a Funeral in May 1994, Elizabeth Hurley wore a black Versace dress held together with safety pins, and it took over the press coverage of the night. It is a reminder that a gown worn after dark is judged by how it holds up close, not across a room.

 

These are the gowns for the part of the night when the speeches are over. The PatBO Chiffon Gloria long dress is magenta and full of ruffles, the NICHOLAS Kamila Ruffle Cowl gown is a dark floral, and the Bronx Banco Brielle Diamond gown is pale blue. The NBD Nathalia and the Nookie Martini High Neck are both red and simple.

 

From the existing edit, the Mac Duggal Long Sleeve Floral Embellished gown and the Greta Constantine Plumore are the beaded ones, the Harris Tapper Lucille and the Ulla Johnson Nerine are silk, and the FFORME Mila bias-cut maxi in gold satin is the one I would wear to an evening wedding in a city. The Rosie Assoulin A La Mode jacquard gown, the LoveShackFancy Illiani charmeuse, the two De La Vali dresses and the two Significant Other dresses give you lace, ruching and a sheer overlay.

 

The test is the dance floor. Can you lift your arms over your head without the strap slipping, and can you walk in the hem without holding it up.

 

What I would skip: a train at a wedding with a small dance floor. You will spend the night apologising to people who stepped on it.

The wedding guest outfit that people still bring up came from a daytime ceremony. At Windsor in May 2018, Amal Clooney wore a custom yellow Stella McCartney midi with a long sash and a matching Stephen Jones hat, and Stella McCartney later released it for anyone to buy. One colour, a clean shape and a hat did all the work.

 

This grid is for weddings that start before five. The Rosie Assoulin Sash and Slit satin midi and the Costarellos Nikola embroidered satin are the two closest to that idea, and the Christopher Esber Aura strapless silk midi is the most modern. The Saint Laurent lace-trimmed jacquard is red, the Ulla Johnson Rosanna has a peplum waist, and the Johanna Ortiz Retro Draped midi is the one for a church ceremony.

 

For print, the Helsa Sabrina is a navy silk chiffon with dots, the Amir Taghi Landen is a bright floral, and the CAMI NYC Becky is a scarf print with a bias cut. The Dolce&Gabbana floral cotton midi and the SIMKHAI Sera raffia bustier dress are for a summer garden, the Andres Otalora strapless column is zebra-striped linen, and the La DoubleJ Alchemy, the FFORME Lumie, the Mac Duggal tea-length chiffon and the Cara Cara Phoebe round it out.

 

The test for daytime is the sun. Stand outside in it for five minutes and check whether the fabric is see-through in direct light.

 

What I would skip: a black midi for a daytime garden wedding. It is fine, but it is the one place colour always looks better in photos.

At her sister Pippa's wedding in May 2017, Kate Middleton wore a blush pink Alexander McQueen midi with a pleated skirt and spent a good part of the day herding the page boys and bridesmaids. It was dressy enough for the occasion and practical enough to chase small children in, which is exactly what a midi is for.

 

These are the midis that move. The ELLIATT Picturesque is a pink draped satin, the AMUR Sorelle is a blue print with a floral motif, and the Cinq a Sept Mireya is a blue satin with a ruffled hem. The Ulla Johnson Coco is yellow silk with lace, and the EAVES Frida is an olive silk halter.

 

From the existing edit, the Gabriela Hearst Peyton ruffled silk satin and the KALLMEYER Ivette silk midi are the quiet ones, the Pucci Iride and the Fendi chevron jacquard are the print choices, and the Costarellos Biona sequined lace and the Carolina Herrera Strapless Floral Bouquet Lurex dress add shine. The Dôen Mariselle, the Third Form Visions, the MONTSAND bodice midi, the Toteme Slouch Waist satin and the PatBO Breeze colorblock midi complete it.

 

The test is a slow dance. Take a few steps in it with a partner, or a patient friend, and check that the hem does not catch your heel.

 

What I would skip: a tight midi pencil for a dancing wedding. You will be walking in small steps all night.

A short dress can be correct at a formal wedding. The same Emily Post black tie list that starts with a floor-length gown also includes a dressy cocktail dress and your dressiest little black dress, and for a cocktail invitation a knee-length or shorter dress is the expected choice. The rule is fabric and finish, not length.

 

So the short dresses here are all dressy. The SIMKHAI Davina is sequined, the Dolce&Gabbana Ruched satin and the Givenchy Sliced crepe cady are the city choices, and the Carolina Herrera Floral Embroidered mini and the Leo Lin Roselle appliqué tweed are the ones I would wear to a daytime reception. The Zimmermann Pleated Tie-Neck, the Chloé Ruffled Silk Georgette and the Roberto Cavalli Lace-Trimmed print are softer.

 

The STAUD Esther and the De La Vali La Isla Isla are chiffon, the ROAME Reyna has a fringed hem, and the Pucci Iride cady and the Eliza J Ruffle Sleeve are the most covered. I added the MORE TO COME Cierra in pink satin, the fleur du mal Mini Cowl Neck Slip and the Lovers and Friends Biarritz Sequin mini for an evening cocktail party.

 

The test is the pew. Sit on a hard bench and see where the hem lands. A dress that is fine at a party can feel very short in a church.

 

What I would skip: a short sequin dress at a daytime ceremony. Save it for the evening reception.

In January 1969 Patrick Lichfield photographed Talitha Getty on a Marrakech rooftop in a multicoloured silk kaftan over white harem trousers, and the picture now sits in the National Portrait Gallery in London. It is still the image people reach for when they want to show that a loose dress can look more glamorous than a fitted one.

 

This grid is for the dresses that do not fit a neat category. The Aquillora Zenith pleated embellished chiffon caftan and the SemSem Ombré-Printed Plissé caftan are the closest to that rooftop, and the Cult Gaia Emmitt is a printed chiffon with a long scarf. The Christopher Esber Concave Wired dress and the SLOAN Overlay dress are the architectural ones.

 

The Alessandra Rich lace bustier dress, the Dolce&Gabbana charmeuse slip and the Zimmermann silk satin wrap are the sensual end, and the Zimmermann Como floral-appliqué mini and the Cinq a Sept Love Letter Rosaline gown are the romantic end. The Delphine Cecily metallic jacquard, the Max Mara silk georgette, the SIRAPOP Valerie satin, the Mac Duggal embellished high neck dress, the Eliza J halter mock neck and the AQUA pleated floral round out the grid.

 

The test for a loose dress is a belt. Try it with and without a thin belt at home. If it only looks right belted, bring the belt.

 

What I would skip: a caftan at a black tie evening wedding. It is perfect for a destination wedding and too relaxed for a ballroom.

Four Weddings and a Funeral opens with a question at the first wedding: Charles asks who the girl in the black hat is. A guest outfit should do that for you in a quieter way. You want to be remembered as dressed well for that wedding, not as the person in the wrong colour.

 

So start with the card, then the venue, then the time. An evening black tie wedding wants floor length or your dressiest cocktail dress. A garden ceremony wants a midi in colour. A city cocktail reception is where the short dresses belong.

 

Then do three checks at home. Sit on a hard chair, walk up stairs, and dance for a song in the shoes you plan to wear. Check the fabric in daylight and with flash. And if you are still unsure about a colour, hold it next to something white and see whether it reads pale.

 

What I would skip: buying for the photos alone. You will wear it for eight hours, so buy the dress you can eat, sit and dance in. If you want to keep browsing, I also put together Brown Dress Guide and Cute Polka Dot Skirt, From Minis to Midis and Maxis.

If your invitation calls for a gown rather than a midi, I also sorted the best maxi dresses by neckline and hem.

If you are leaning toward a shorter hem, I also answered when midi dresses for weddings work and when the venue says no.